Haters, Jealousy and Dealing With Outside Negativity
Recently I have had some comments on this blog that have been negative in nature that I was forced to remove from the site. When I started this blog, it was intended as an open forum and I had no intention of censoring any input and limiting discussion in any way. For the sake of my ever growing readership however, I am obligated to moderate each comment and eliminate the childish and profanity ridden drivel that has been posted recently.
The comments themselves don’t affect me and normally I wouldn’t validate them with any sort of response but as I thought about it, I realized there is a lesson here that may benefit many people who may find themselves in a similar situation. The unfortunate fact of the matter is that as you progress and grow in your professional life, your spiritual life and in your personal life there are going to be people in this world that start to dislike you for what you have accomplished or what you are trying to accomplish.
It’s sad indeed that there are people who will take pleasure in seeing you stumble or worse, actively try and do you some sort of harm. At first you may not imagine that this would be the case, but the minute you make the decision to excel or achieve at a level beyond the status quo, you become a target for small minded and ineffective individuals that hate to see anyone try and better themselves.
This can come in many forms - perhaps it is the person at your job who is in line for the same managerial position as you and may try to sabotage your advancement instead of just doing the best they can. Maybe it is one of your friends or family who simply tells you over and over that you can’t start your own business and succeed. Maybe it’s people in chat rooms and on forums who bad mouth you merely because you are starting to make a name for yourself.
Whatever the case may be, the more you succeed and the more you put yourself out there, there more some individuals will hate you for what you earn, for what you have and even for who you are with. If you are happy and successful, there will be people who are jealous of you and what you have been able to achieve. The trick is to not pay them any attention. Realize the situation for what it is - they lash out at you simply because they can not have what you have or do what you are trying to do, and in an effort to sooth their own self-loathing and make themselves feel better about their own pathetic existence, they derive some sort of perverted satisfaction in attempting to make you look bad.
It’s sad, really. The only thing that you can do is ignore it and focus on your own life. Paying attention to what a few unfortunate individuals think or say about you only gives them energy. If you divert your attention and focus on their negativity, they have accomplished what they set out to do. It can be difficult at first, especially if you are unaccustomed to this sort of mentality, but believe me it can only distract you from hitting your goals.
It is a sad insight on the more negative side of human psychology. I actually get a chuckle out of everything now, though. The mere thought of those poor lost souls sitting alone in their homes Googling my name repeatedly, hoping to find something they can cling to that will support their delusional desires for my downfall makes me laugh out loud whenever I think about it. It is truly sorry that anyone would have an existence so barren and so pathetic that a portion of their happiness in life revolves around the hope that I may someday fail. Living well and being happy is truly the best revenge.
Life is good. Real estate is starting to pick up again and my new website ventures are beginning to pay off. I wake each morning with more money than I had the day before and a better knowledge of how to build bigger and more profitable businesses. My wife and I have never been happier and each day is a blessing.
I want to take this time to publicly thank all of my family and long term friends who have always been supportive through the years. Thanks also to new friends and business associates that I have met recently who have been amazingly inspirational and helpful. To all of the haters and other people who wish me ill fortune - I want to thank you as well. Please, keep Googling my name and building my reputation with the search engines; please keep visiting my sites as often as you do - add to my traffic and keep building my value.
Finally I want to thank my incredibly beautiful wife, Briana. She has been with me through good times and bad, unwavering in her support and devotion. I love you and appreciate every single day with you. You are my soul mate, my friend and my partner. Every man should be as lucky as I.
And to anyone who may encounter personal negativity in their own journey, remember that these people are annoying at best. They have absolutely no bearing on your eventual success and are inconsequential bumps in the spiritual universe. They may scheme and gossip like bitter old women but pay them no mind - focus on the task at hand and you will ultimately succeed.
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March 25th, 2008 at 11:33 am
WRITE ABOUT MAURICE HERZING MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOOO IIIITTTT!!!!!!
April 10th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
Great post, just like always. When I’m entering your blog I’m always sure I won’t regret it. Continue writing.
April 12th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
you are too cute to get negative remarks. Must be from jealous ugly guys.
May 25th, 2008 at 1:35 am
Dude I am a total hater…. I just spilled juice on my shirt, and I hate it.. lol. I’m just playing I sympathize
October 5th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Thank you for such a wonderful, encouraging and uplifting post! Your words were just what I needed after dealing with “Haters” of my own.
God bless you and your lovely wife!
February 5th, 2009 at 7:16 pm
Thank you for that. Seriously, this post saved me a whole lot of trouble.
After reading further into the blog, I am now one of your biggest fans! Keep up the good work!
February 6th, 2009 at 6:48 am
Great post. Very encouraging. I will make sure to bookmark it and reflect on it in the future.
Best wishes of all your future endeavors and inevitable happiness.
February 17th, 2009 at 12:40 pm
I love the post =)..I can relate…I have myspace stalkers that view my page all day everyday, AND they even made a fake profile calling me a “swamp rat” and posted my pictures…They wrote me messages talking about my unborn baby and that i’m a “pancake” face..lol… losers.
March 19th, 2009 at 4:33 am
Thanx for writing this! I really needed to read this today…
March 19th, 2009 at 5:54 am
Haters just need more love
March 24th, 2009 at 7:04 am
“You hit the nail on the head!” I appreciate everything you said here, every word it. “I’m going through the same thing.” Ex-husband and a live-in constantly try to bring me down.. “I don’t let it, and never have!” My sentiments exactly. Bless you and your beautiful wife.”
March 26th, 2009 at 7:16 am
“I am the husband of a very strong-minded, strong-willed, loving, greatest mother in the world beautiful woman.” She had a lot of ups and downs in her life, but has come through a champion.” We were going to post our wedding pictures on a blog for family and friends of ours only. What we discovered in the process of working on the blog, that out of nowhere, and these people were blocked, and we had private settings, managed to leave some comments…So we decided to start somewhere else. People need to move on and stop their hatred. “Ignorance and jealousy can lead to nothing but disaster for them.” Thank you.
April 17th, 2009 at 9:56 am
“Hatred is the madness of the heart.” Byron
May 18th, 2009 at 1:00 am
you know I was having a bad night from a bunch of haters online… due to my success in my field and hobbies…
Some online friends, well I thought they were friends, secretly turned against me, all of which are jealous… so i googled - how to deal with haters, and your site come up in the top results.
I read this blog about haters, and thank you for refocusing my goals and such… best wishes.
June 2nd, 2009 at 6:29 pm
Classic article. You rock! What makes haters so really, truly pathetic is that the sad sack losers don’t even realize that lashing out in bitterness, hatred and envy just to soothe their won egos only HIGHLIGHTS how inferior they really feel about themselves.
June 6th, 2009 at 10:58 pm
preach it, brotha! i’m dealing with haters now and have been for years (sometimes they are quiet and then they flare back up)
this post was helpful to me, though.
thank you.
June 14th, 2009 at 7:30 am
So According to you, ‘Success’ isn’t about being someone of worth or value to ones community. Or someone who is endowed with intellectual abilities and or talents. For you, ’success’ is how much money you have. The material stuff right? Being ‘rich’, that’s “making it”?
OK
Total Scum
June 15th, 2009 at 10:32 am
Actually Slim Jim, I tend to subscribe to Earl Nightingales definition of success - “Success is the progressive realization of a worthwhile goal or ideal.” I have goals in every area of life - financial goals, relationship goals, spiritual goals, physical goals, etc. Success means different things to different people… obviously you didn’t actually read the post or you simply didn’t understand it.
Either way, thank you for validating my hypothesis in the second paragraph that “The unfortunate fact of the matter is that as you progress and grow in your professional life, your spiritual life and in your personal life there are going to be people in this world that start to dislike you for what you have accomplished or what you are trying to accomplish.”
You are indeed a perfect example of a small minded and ineffective individual who would equate striving to succeed in the financial areas of life as being Total Scum. How sad.
June 15th, 2009 at 5:36 pm
Jim Slim my man, put down the hatoraide and drink pop. I’ve seen this before, once the hatred in you starts it just eats at your soul.
Stay away from that stuff, it’s bad for you!
June 16th, 2009 at 4:05 am
Indeed, is it hateful to have an opinion? For many people Financial success is the only ’success’ But in a world of Capitalist maggots, yet anything is possible right? As for me consuming “hatoraide”, since you do not know me, I will dismiss your comment as immature nonsense. . Perhaps you should put down the ‘Capitalistoraid’ before you destroy the entire world. It’s nice to see what it has already done to your lovely city of Detroit.
In response to Steve, Thank you for using me as an example. Given that you too do not know me. I am sure that your obviously clear approach to observation of me, ‘the subject’ allows for you to make such a concrete conclusion in regards to your ill perceived (borrowed) philosophy on the idea of success. Please note, I hate to disappoint you but you are not the only academic in the haus. There are some , um, flaws in your statement too.
Rather than apply my thinking to some pre-constructed ideology. I personally tend to subscribe to my personal opinion of success. In which the effort of giving is balanced with a sense of self fulfillment based in the contributions of art and culture. I am familiar with Earl, as well as his illustrations, however, I do not agree with some of his commentary. It would be nice if the application of success could be applied to everyone in the same manner. However, everyone is Not the same. Nor do they share the same realities as others. I do not think that Earls message is relevant to some people. ‘RICH’ in a country such as the usa means something quite different than in some other lands where the ‘richness’ of knowledge and accomplishment is perceived in a more balanced way. Anyone can be rich. However, it falls upon the individual’s definition of such. For you and others here, I believe that you place much enthuses on $$$. Not to be used as a tool to help elevate and stimulate growth and community. To inspire the young or to help in the redevelopment of community and the abolishment of poverty. I hear mostly greed and self fulfillment. What wealth can do for YOU and not for others. i do not agree with that way of life, though it IS the way of life for many people. I am very sorry that you and your friends have dismissed me as a ‘hater’. I hold no hate in my heart. I merely have opinions, which you may disagree with.
As for success I have had success too. However, despite whatever I receive in my life. I am dedicated to helping others not in helping myself. I do not expect that you or your associates can begin to understand where I am coming from. You are from the ’80’s “if you got it why not?” generation. Indeed, I see what Reganomics and such have done to the landscape.
You may now go about your process of attack. This shall be my last post, I need to tend to my work now. And do not have the time to respond to this kind of stuff. It’s suedo intellectual.
June 16th, 2009 at 8:34 am
My, my, to have such a nice post turned around by ignorance, re: Jim Slim, is just another example of what the subject of this post is all about. I have read your comments and all I hear are words of hatred. Maybe your harsh words have nothing to do with the post’s subject. You have hate in your heart, don’t know why, it must be personal. These two subjects did not just talk about social success, they talked about Spiritual success as well, didn’t catch it? And may I add my 1960’s generation taught me that every American has the opportunity to become anything they want to become, with hard work. If a person is successful, more power to them. But the greatest of all successes in life is the belief in the good lord above, put your trust in him, and I mean full trust, and watch how your life can be turned around and blessed, whether your successful or not. Everyone cannot be successful. Giving to others in need, and there will always be people in need for one reason or another, is a success. I wish you a happy life.
June 16th, 2009 at 10:47 am
Jim Slim,
I can respect your stance on capitalism, it’s your feeling the need to lash out at others that makes you a hater. You hate those who do not agree with you, judging by your posts. Why not try showing us the way with action or through your own blog, instead of aimlessly attacking people on this one.
You seem smart enough to understand what was going to happen when you posted that, but you did it anyway. You either can’t control your hatred, or you just like to stir pots, and posted that to get attention.
July 31st, 2009 at 12:01 pm
If you are a beautiful woman, you will get more haters than anyone. Jealous girls will come up out of nowhere and start screaming obscenities at you and picking fights with you for no reason at all. It’s pathetic.
September 12th, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I want to commend you on such a well written and informative blog entry! I am a singer/songwriter/producer who is learning and fighting my way into the entertainment industry.
I never understood or could fathom why anyone would chose to hate on me or throw my name in the dirt, until I realized how I handled the situations. I hit the ground, and I get back up each and every time, and haters hate that!
You did an amazing job on this article!
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December 2nd, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Wow, what incredible words are written here! Steve, I am impressed. I don’t see much recently written, and want to encourage you to continue!!! You have a faboulous way of putting your thoughts in writing…
I read some of your material, and re-read it to my hubby, and it is as though we wrote it ourselves! This particular article caught my eye as we have experienced this ourselves. Funny how people would rather make ridiculous comments such as “they must be dealing drugs” or “they must be doing something illegal” when they see our successes, rather than speak with us, ask us about how we have found some success, and learn from the successess. We believe that success comes to those that believe in it, believe that God has total control over them and their lives, believe that educated risks are necessary to have greater rewards, and know that, with or without money, they are the same blessed individuals, that have God to thank, a family to love, and each other by their sides, because they are good people and always give more than they receive.
And in response to Jims comments; you can help people, as most everyone I know does, but that does not always make a true or permanent difference. They have to deesire and believe they can be successful, in whatever they choose! They have to want it, work for it, pray for it, live it…. not just wait for it! You can help people by having them read blogs like this that are real! Have them take responsibilty for their own lives, and then they can help others find that kind of real success!
February 8th, 2010 at 1:27 pm
yeah this did really help and you did hit the nail on the target dude lol i’m have so much trouble with coping with peer pressure. like dealing with haters or jealous people as you said lol and family problems too but that helped reading this. Thank you!!